Reviewed by Colin Jacobson (September 23, 2024)
Because I don’t want this website’s array of reviews to seem totally monochromatic, I find myself willing to watch movies that don’t land in my usual wheelhouse. Today’s example: 2024’s The Fabulous Four.
Newly widowed septuagenarian Marilyn (Bette Midler) surprises her lifelong pals Kitty (Sheryl Lynn Ralph) and Alice (Megan Mullally) with news that she will soon remarry. This means the three will reunite in Key West for the nuptials.
Kitty and Alice bring along a fourth member of their old gang as well: Marilyn’s college BFF Lou (Susan Sarandon), who fell out with Marilyn after a fight over a boy. This adds tension to the party, as the four old friends interact during the lead-up to the ceremony.
Though this Blu-ray represents my initial screening of Four, I almost saw it theatrically over the summer. Out of town for a few days without much to do at night, I checked out multiplex schedules to determine what interested me that I’d not already seen.
A look at the advertising for Four implied it wouldn’t work for me. However, I remained open-minded – until I saw the reviews, which were pretty bad.
That said, I’m willing to view flicks at home that I won’t commit to in theaters. Thus the existence of this review.
Did I miss a fun time at AMC in July? Heavens no, as it brings a witless and flat experience.
Honestly, it shouldn’t have been hard for Four to live up to expectations. Given how little entertainment I anticipated here, it seemed next to impossible that the film wouldn’t leap the exceedingly low bar.
That seems especially true given the cast involved. Four comes with a collection of genuinely talented actors, so it feels like some entertainment should result.
None does. Essentially a random collection of theoretically comedic beats – with the occasional dramatic/sentimental beat tossed in as well – this turns into a disjointed and tedious project.
All the stabs at laughs follow the paths one expect from this “Grannies Gone Wild” genre. Movies with elderly women in theoretically wacky circumstances aren’t new, so a project like Four needs to find something fresh.
It doesn’t. Not a single original moment occurs in this stale and wearisome production.
One might hope the talented actors overcome the awful script, but to my surprise, they don’t – not at all. Three of the four overact relentlessly in their unsuccessful attempts to add mirth to this misbegotten affair.
Only Sarandon actually attempts to create a real person. She can’t elevate her one-note role, but at least she gives it a go.
It doesn’t help that we never remotely buy the titular crew as pals – and not just because their ages often don’t match. 77 and 78 during the production, we do accept Sarandon and Midler as college pals.
However, Mullally and Ralph were in their mid-60s at the time. The movie strongly implies all the characters should be about the same age, so it doesn’t fit that half our Four are a good decade younger than the other two.
I could ignore this discrepancy if the leads meshed. They don’t, though, as they all feel detached from each other.
At no point do the characters connect in a meaningful manner. They feel totally separate from each other and without any sense of chemistry.
All of this wastes quality actors. Nothing about this tedious and cliché flick succeeds.
