Each of the three films found on Hard Wood appear in aspect ratios of approximately 1.33:1 on these Blu-ray Discs. I expected iffy visuals from the three movies and that’s what I got.
Though the three varied in terms of how iffy they looked. Of the three, House became easily the most satisfying in terms of visuals.
Not that it offered dazzling picture, as it came with issues. Sharpness varied from pretty good to semi-soft, so don’t anticipate consistency there.
Grain seemed heavy and sporadic minor print flaws materialized. Colors leaned brown but seemed adequate for the most part.
Blacks and shadows leaned a bit dense. Despite these concerns. House usually looked perfectly watchable and occasionally pretty good.
The same couldn’t be said for the other two, as they came with the problems I anticipated. Sharpness tended to seem mediocre at best, with plenty of soft spots.
Print flaws became pervasive, with lots of specks, lines, tears and marks. Colors looked bland at best and faded at worst. Shadows and blacks seemed flat and dull.
Of these two, Necromania fared a little better. While not attractive, its visuals topped the mess I encountered with Marrieds.
Objectively, Necromania and Marrieds fell to “D” level. At least House looked good enough to boost the whole set to “C-“ status.
Don’t expect anything better from the DTS-HD MA monaural audio of the three films. Once again, House delivered the strongest of the bunch,
No, its soundtrack didn’t impress, especially because poor on-set recording meant dialogue tended to seem distant. Still, music showed better range and the mix lacked prominent distortion.
Necromania and Marrieds came with shrill and thin audio. Their mixes lacked punch and became rough and sibilant much of the time.
As with the visuals, none of this felt like a surprise. From the “highs” of House to the lows of Marrieds, the cumulative impression of the audio wound up with another “C-“.
Expect a slew of bonus features across this three-disc set, and all three movies come with audio commentaries. “Ed Wood Summit” host Greg Javer appears for all of these, but he pairs with different guests for each one.
Necromania partners Javer with author Paul Apel and Only House in Town finds him with Capri Show World’s Spicy Goodman. Finally, Javer sits with porn archaeologist/collector Dimitri Otis.
Across these running, screen-specific tracks, we learn about cast and crew, sets and locations, differences between softcore and hardcore versions, and related thoughts.
Going into the commentaries, I worried they’d either deliver nothing more than camp yuks or fanboy praise. Instead, the tracks came with surprisingly well-researched examinations of the films.
On Disc One, we also get a trailer for Only House, and Disc Two offers 9 Sex Loops. These fill a total of one hour, 13 minutes, 44 seconds of footage and show hardcore sound-free sex scenes with subtitles written by Ed Wood.
This means excellent dialogue like “it hurts”, “eat it, Red” and “pull it out”. The only exception comes from “The Two Faces of Kim”, a speech-free reel that shows a male who does himself up in drag.
That one offers some vague interest given Wood’s own cross-dressing. Otherwise the “Loops” offer some archival value and that’s about it.
Disc Three comes devoted entirely to extras. The prime attraction stems from Shotgun Wedding, a 1963 “hicksploitation” film written by Wood under the pseudonym “Larry Lee” and directed by Boris Petroff.
Wedding goes for one hour, four minutes, 21 seconds and tells of romance among feuding hillbillies. This never becomes a terrible movie but it also doesn’t give us anything good.
That means cartoony characters, broad performances and workmanlike direction. Too good to become a cult classic, Wedding mostly just seems dull.
At least the Blu-ray reproduces the film pretty well, as picture seems surprisingly strong. Despite some anomalies – mainly via occasional specks – this turns into a fairly attractive image.
Sound seems more dated, as we get some roughness along the way. Still, the audio works fine for a low-budget movie from 1963.
Next we find an episode of The Incredibly Strange Film Show devoted to Ed Wood. The program runs 39 minutes, 54 seconds.
Hosted by Jonathan Ross, the show brings notes from film critic Harry Medved, writer/biographer Rudolph Grey, Wood’s ex-wife Norma McCarthy, widow Kathy Wood and actors Dolores Fuller, Paul Marco, Gregory Walcott, Valda Hansen and Maila Nurmi.
As expected, we hear about Wood’s life and career. It comes across as somewhat scattershot and doesn’t touch on the “porn era” at the heart of this set but it offers a decent overview.
Disc Three winds up with three interview reels, the first of which involves comedians Dana Gould and Bobcat Goldthwait. They chat together in this 28-minute, 17-second piece.
The conversation looks at Wood’s “twilight era” – well, in theory, as Gould and Goldthwait only sporadically touch on that period. Mostly Gould and Goldthwait chat about their appreciation of Wood, with minor insights at times but not much more.
The Mad Genius of Ed Wood spans 13 minutes, 27 seconds. It comes with comments from author Carl Abrahamsson.
Here we get an appreciation of Wood’s work, mainly due to Wood’s indomitable desire to put his ideas on the screen. This feels like contrarian rehabilitation that attempts to convince us Wood wasn’t an incompetent filmmaker.
Finally, A Brief Encounter with Ed goes for 10 minutes, 39 seconds. It offers info from filmmaker Fred Olen Ray.
In particular, “Brief” focuses on Beach Blanket Bloodbath, Ray’s attempted collaboration with Wood. Ray gives us interesting memories of this short interaction.
A collection of three circa 1971 pornographic films made by the infamous Ed Wood, Hard Wood seems as amateurish and cheesy as one might expect. Outside of novelty, these flicks offer little value. The Blu-rays offer inconsistent picture and audio along with a mix of bonus materials. Perhaps diehard Wood buffs will find something worthwhile here.
