A black comedy with satire related to celebrity culture, 2017’s Killing Hasselhoff introduces us to Chris Kim (Ken Jeong), a nightclub owner who hits hard times. A struggling business means he can’t pay back a loan shark and pushes him toward desperate measures.

A member of a “Celebrity Death Pool”, Chris stands to benefit financially if his pick – David Hasselhoff – dies. To score the money he needs, Chris decides to take matters into his own hands and kill Hasselhoff himself.

Admittedly, I didn’t enter Killing with high expectations. I thought the concept offered some room for laughs, so I hoped it’d provide a breezy way to pass 80 minutes.

Unfortunately, Killing falls below of those low expectations – far, far below, in fact. The movie makes many desperate attempts to entertain but it fails to generate even the most basic of value.

On paper, Killing should come with some worth, mainly because it boasts a surprisingly good cast. In addition to Jeong, we find talents like Dan Bakkedahl, Rhys Darby, Will Sasso, and Jon Lovitz.

Killing also pours on the cameos. You’ll find a slew of notable names and faces here – most tend toward the semi-has-been category, I admit, but a few current stars show up as well.

All of this comes at the service of a movie that never aims higher than the cheapest of cheap jokes. Killing doesn’t attempt real cleverness, as it prefers the easy way out, with one tacky gag after another.

Killing lacks a real plot, as it uses its framework as nothing more than an excuse to churn out a slew of pointless comedy bits. We take long detours to go…. wherever the filmmakers want to go, logic or narrative coherence be damned.

The cast plays down to the awful material. Each and every one of them overacts relentlessly, as if they think loud and abrasive performances will somehow make a silk purse out of this sow’s ear.

They can’t, as Killing remains a relentlessly unpleasant experience. Witless, shrill and annoying, this turns into a thoroughly awful attempt at comedy.

Footnote: a tag with a cameo from a famous musician comes mid-credits, and a blooper reel follows it.

Killing Hasselhoff appears in an aspect ratio of approximately 1.85:1 on this single-sided, double-layered DVD; the image has been enhanced for 16X9 televisions. The picture never excelled, but it was adequate for SD-DVD.

Sharpness was usually acceptable. Wider shots tended to be a bit soft, but those instances weren’t extreme, and much of the flick offered decent clarity.

Shimmering and jaggies were minor and edge haloes seemed non-problematic. Print flaws were non-existent, as I detected no specks, marks or other blemishes.

The film’s palette usually opted for a mild teal and orange tint. Within that design range, the colors seemed passable; they weren’t especially strong, but they were okay.

Blacks tended to be somewhat inky, but shadows showed reasonable smoothness. Nothing here did much to impress, but this was a decent presentation.

Don’t expect fireworks from the film’s Dolby Digital 5.1 soundtrack, as we got a mix heavy on music and general environmental material. Even when the material broadened, it stayed restrained and effects could seem borderline monaural. This became an exceptionally restricted track for 5.1.

Audio quality was fine. Speech seemed natural and concise, and the score demonstrated pretty good vivacity.

Effects did little to tax my system but they were clear and accurate enough. Overall, this ended up as a lackluster mix.

Six Deleted Scenes fill a total of eight minutes, 27 seconds. The first five offer minor clips that largely throw out more comedic beats. We do get a cameo from Howie Mandel along with a mopey snippet of Chris’s girlfriend.

At five minutes, four seconds, the longest clip extends the “death pool” bit at the movie’s start. It shows more of Hasselhoff’s experiences on a reality show and adds cameos from Mel B and Hulk Hogan. Like the rest, it lacks real value.

Despite a talented cast, Killing Hasselhoff delivers virtually zero wit or charm. Loud, crass and stupid, the movie plods across its 80 minutes in a painful manner. The DVD offers mediocre picture and audio as well as minor supplements. Skip this awful movie.