“Geena Davis, Action Star” sounds just as weird circa 2025 as it did in the mid-1990s when she made 1995’s Cutthroat Island with director and future husband Renny Harlin. Just like that marriage, though, Davis’s time in this genre didn’t last long, and 1996’s The Long Kiss Goodnight became her second and final stab at it.

Eight years earlier, a pregnant woman (Davis) washed up on the New Jersey shore. She lacked any memory so she adopted the name “Samantha Caine”, became a teacher and lives with her boyfriend Hal (Tom Amandes) and her daughter Caitlin (Yvonne Zima).

A car wreck causes Samantha to suddenly regain some of her memories. Freshly eager to learn the mysteries of her past, she hires low-rent private detective Mitch Henessey (Samuel L. Jackson) and digs into her increasingly fraught – and dangerous – history.

Looking back, I don’t think I ever saw Cutthroat Island. Pirate movies offered little appeal to me so I skipped it.

On the other hand, a violent thriller came right up my alley, and I put some faith in Harlin as well. Not that I ever thought he excelled, but he produced semi-reliable action flicks.

Did I like Kiss back in 1996? I honestly don’t recall, for while I know I saw it, the movie failed to stick in my memory.

This second screening 29 years later lets me know why Kiss didn’t leave much of an impression in 1996: it offers a largely mediocre action experience. While it comes with flashes of thrills, it just doesn’t gel as a whole.

Two factors give Kiss a boost: the dialogue from screenwriter Shane Black and the supporting performance from Samuel L. Jackson. The actor fully embraces the absurdity of the story and gives a loose, lively turn that threatens to carry the flick all on his own.

In addition, we get some typically snappy and flippant dialogue from Black. The lines can feel “written” a lot of the time – ie, no one actually speaks the way the characters do – but these aspects of Black’s script offer too much amusement for me to care.

Heck, I’d give Black a thumb’s up for the fact he requires Mitch to misinterpret “I’m not talkin’ ‘bout moving in” from England Dan and John Ford Coley’s 1976 hit “I’d Really Love to See You Tonight” as “I’m not talkin’ ‘bout the linen”. I thought that was the actual lyric for far too long, so Black’s line allows me to feel seen!

Beyond some aspects of Black’s script and Jackson’s frisky performance, I can’t find a lot to love about Kiss. Indeed, the comedic side of Black’s screenplay butts up against Harlin’s style in a problematic manner.

Always a very blunt and nuance-free action director, Harlin couldn’t do snark or irony or self-parody. Harlin directs without subtlety so his blunt force style doesn’t pair with Black’s irony.

In addition, Davis never feels appropriate as Charly. Oh, she does fine as schoolteacher/mom Samantha because that side of the role falls in her wheelhouse.

But when asked to play Action Badass, Davis can’t do it. Although I don’t think she flops as Charly, she just exudes too much natural warmth to exhibit Charly’s amoral badass threat.

At no point does Kiss turn into a dull experience, but it just lacks the zing and spark it needs. We find a watchable action flick that fails to do more than become mediocre.

The Long Kiss Goodnight appears in an aspect ratio of approximately 2.35:1 on this 4K UHD Disc. I found a largely solid Dolby Vision presentation.

For the most part, sharpness fared well. Occasional interiors felt a bit on the soft side, but these remained modest and appeared to reflect the source. The movie usually came with good accuracy.

No issues with jagged edges or moiré effects materialized, and edge haloes remained absent. With a nice layer of grain, the transfer appeared to lack problematic use of noise reduction, and it also came free from print flaws.

Colors leaned toward the chilly blue side, though they warm up when necessary. These came across with appropriate vivacity and punch, and the disc’s HDR allowed the tones to seem more dynamic.

Blacks appeared deep and dense, while shadows boasted nice clarity. The HDR gave whites and contrast solid impact. Kiss offered a satisfying image.

Downconverted to Dolby TrueHD 7.1, the film’s Dolby Atmos remix worked pretty well, as it demonstrated an active and encompassing soundfield. The forward spectrum presented good stereo imaging for the music.

Various effects appeared appropriately placed within the realm. Those elements blended together well and moved smoothly across the channels.

Surround usage seemed positive. The movie displayed a solid sense of environment, and big violent sequences made the viewer a part of the action.

Audio quality seemed solid. Speech sounded nicely natural and distinct, and I heard no concerns related to edginess or intelligibility.

Effects demonstrated good clarity and accuracy, and they showed no signs of distortion. Bass response was deep and tight.

Music came across as bright and dynamic as well. Overall, the soundtrack of Kiss remained good enough to earn a “B+”.

We find a slew of extras here, and the 4K disc includes two separate audio commentaries. The first comes from film critic Walter Chaw, as he provides a running, screen-specific look at story/characters/themes, cast and crew, genre domains and his thoughts on the film.

While Chaw provides a breezy enough track, I think he makes it too much of an “annotated filmography” and he tends to narrate the tale a bit too often. That said, Chaw improves as he goes and gives us some insights during the second half, so the end result gives us enough worthwhile material to merit a listen.

For the second commentary, we hear from critics/podcasters Drusilla Adeline and Joshua Conkel. Both sit together for their running, screen-specific discussion of cast and crew, the screenplay, some production elements, and their thoughts about the film.

That last domain dominates the track, as Conkel and Adeline primarily chat about what they see and tell us what they like. Some of this works but the discussion lacks a lot of informational value.

The 4K disc also includes an overly-revealing trailer as well as an Image Gallery with 319 elements. These mix shots from the set and promotional material to become a nice set.

On a bonus Blu-ray disc, we find a mix of video programs. Girl Interrupted runs 16 minutes, two seconds and brings notes from actor Yvonne Zima.

The former child performer discusses how she got into her career as well as what brought her to Kiss and her experiences during the shoot. Zima provides a good collection of memories.

Symphony of Destruction goes for nine minutes, six seconds. Here we find into from stunt coordinator Steve Davidson.

Unsurprisingly, “Symphony” concentrates on the movie’s stunts and action. Davidson covers these topics well.

Next comes Long Live the New Flesh. In this 11-minute, 53-second reel, we locate remarks from makeup artist Gordon J. Smith.

“Flesh” looks at the creations Smith made for the film. He delivers a quality examination on the challenges he encountered.

Amnesia Chick goes for 19 minutes, 32 seconds. It boasts statements from film scholar Josh Nelson.

The video essay examines memory loss as a theme in movies, with an emphasis on these elements in Kiss. Nelson delves into the subject matter with reasonable insight.

After this we head to The Mirror Crack’d. This one lasts 38 minutes, 36 seconds and offers thoughts written by film historians Kevin Marr, Howard S. Berger and Angela McEntee and narrated by Berger.

Another visual essay, “Mirror” investigates various character elements in the movie as well as interpretation and connections to other works. Some intriguing thoughts arrive, but I think “Mirror” probably gives the filmmakers more credit for depth than they deserved.

A Woman’s World spans 14 minutes, 20 seconds. It gives us notes from film scholar Alexandra Heller-Nicholas.

Yet another visual essay, Heller-Nicholas chats about Davis’s career, with an emphasis on the nature of her roles. Some of this info appears in the commentaries, but “World” nonetheless offers a quality overview.

Two Deleted Scenes fill a total of two minutes, 32 seconds. These actually lean more toward extended/alternate versions of movie sequences, and that makes them mildly interesting but not much more.

Shot back in the 1990, we get a collection of Promotional Interviews. These involves director Renny Harlin (2:16) as well as actors Geena Davis (1:28), Samuel L. Jackson (1:24) and Craig Bierko (0:42).

As one can deduce from those brief running times, the interviews don’t tell us much, as they simply get into superficial aspects of the production. Created for the movie’s EPK, they lack much value.

Speaking of which, that Vintage Making Of comes next and runs five minutes, 53 seconds. We indeed hear from Harlin, Davis, Jackson, Bierko and screenwriter Shane Black.

They give us the usual promotional blather. Outside of a few decent glimpses of the production, this turns into a forgettable reel.

A Behind the Scenes reel occupies eight minutes, 14 seconds and shows raw footage from the sets. I always enjoy this sort of material and we find a nice compilation of clips here.

The second of Geena Davis’s two attempts at action/adventure, The Long Kiss Goodnight never really clicks. Despite some promising elements, Davis feels miscast and the project doesn’t come together to give us real excitement. The 4K UHD boasts very good picture and audio as well as a solid roster of bonus materials. Kiss disappointed me in 1996 and it doesn’t work better for me in 2025.