Today’s entry in the “Man, Is That A Vague Title” Olympics: 2022’s The Long Night. As it happens, this one falls under the horror umbrella.

Grace Covington (Scott Taylor-Compton) never knew her parents, so she desires to learn about them. Along with her boyfriend Jack Cabot (Nolan Gerard Funk), she goes from her current place in New York City to her original home down South.

As they set up camp in the family abode, matters soon take a dark turn. Grace and Jack must deal with a cult whose leader (Deborah Kara Unger) targets them and sends the couple down a crazed road.

With Scout Taylor-Compton, Nolan Gerard Funk and Deborah Kara Unger as our leads, Long Night must offer the three-namiest main cast in movie history. Boy, it doesn’t get any three-namier than that!

Beyond this quirk, does Night offer anything of interest? Nope – this turns into a slow, uncompelling 91 minutes of attempted horror.

Emphasis on “attempted”, as despite heavy-handed efforts to induce tension and terror, Night never gives us anything particularly impactful. Whereas it tries to go down a “slow burn” path, it ends up as a “no burn” effort with nary a scare on display.

As often occurs with horror movies, part of the problem comes from the telegraphed tone attached to the story. During the film’s first act, we watch plenty of banal activities, and a more confident production team would let them stand on their own to lull us into a false sense of security.

Instead, Night pours on “spooky music” and other attempts to create an ominous mood, even as the film portrays everyday events. These efforts fail and just make the material seem weird and tedious.

Once the film formally introduces the cult and their threat, it should kick into higher gear. It doesn’t, as Night remains stuck in neutral.

In theory, I respect the filmmakers’ choice to focus on psychological terror over the usual more visceral thrills. However, these choices just don’t work, mainly because so little actually happens.

The cult members stand on the lawn in front of the house and look creepy. Grace and Jack get freaked out. Lather, rinse, etc.

All of this adds up to a slow, boring 91 minutes of monotony. Long Night might work as a short film, but this version lacks the substance it needs to sustain the viewer across its running time.

The Long Night appears in an aspect ratio of approximately 2.35:1 on this Blu-ray Disc. Expect generally positive visuals here.

For the most part, sharpness appeared good. While the image occasionally felt a bit on the soft side during interiors or wider shots, the majority of the movie came across with acceptable to good delineation.

Jagged edges and moiré effects failed to appear. I also noticed no edge haloes nor print flaws.

In terms of palette, Night favored a light teal much of the time, with some orange/amber as well. These hues lacked much pep but they seemed more than adequate.

Blacks appeared full and dense, while low-light shots gave us good clarity. This didn’t become a great image, but it worked fine most of the time,

Though not packed with action, the film’s DTS-HD MA 5.1 soundtrack accentuated the story. Most of the livelier moments related to “scare elements”, but even those didn’t manage to use the spectrum in an especially vivid manner.

The film emphasized ambience and not much more. A little violence popped up along the way, but not enough to make a real difference in the track’s overall impact.

Within those gentle confines, sound quality satisfied. Music was full and rich, while effects demonstrated nice clarity and accuracy. Those elements boasted deep bass to accentuate the movie’s horror,

Speech came across as crisp and natural. The mix didn’t do much but it seemed acceptable.

A few extras flesh out the disc, and we find an audio commentary from director Rich Ragsdale, screenwriter Rob Scheppe and editor Jay Gartland. They offer a running, screen-specific look at story/characters/screenplay, cast and performances, sets and locations, editing and music, photography and effects, and related domains.

While the commentary covers an appropriate range of topics, I can’t claim it ever becomes especially engaging. We get a decent overview of the production but the rack never turns into anything particularly insightful or enjoyable, so it feels pretty mediocre.

A short film entitled The Loop runs seven minutes, 40 seconds and brings a 2019 effort from Ragsdale. In it, a young kid watches a bootleg videotape of the supposed “scariest movie ever made”.

It acts as a kind of Twilight Zone piece, as the boy finds himself more involved with the film than expected. Loop keeps us with it for its brief running time but it never becomes memorable.

Behind the Scenes breaks into three areas: “The Birthing” (5:44), “The Look” (5:59) and “Composing the Score” (6:41). Across these, we hear from Ragsdale, cinematographer Pierluigi Malavasi, composer Sherri Chung.

“Birthing” offers a fly on the wall look at the creation of that scene, whereas “Look” discusses visual choices and photography. “Score” examines the movie’s music. None of these stand out as terrific, but they add some useful insights.

The disc opens with ads for Unwelcome, 6:45 and Row 19. We also get a trailer for Night.

A stab at psychological horror, The Long Night lacks much impact or real purpose. The story ambles along with little more than a moody vibe to sustain it, and that proves insufficient. The Blu-ray comes with generally positive picture and audio as well as a mix of bonus materials. Night fails to achieve its goals.