In 2018, Keanu Reeves starred in a movie called Siberia. In 2019, Willem Dafoe starred in a movie called Siberia.

Well, that’s confusing.

For this review, we’ll look at the 2019 flick. Clint (Dafoe) works as a bartender in a remote frozen location. The locals speak Yupik and he doesn’t, so this complicates his job.

In truth, this situation doesn’t exist literally, as instead, it represents Clint’s status in limbo. He needs to work through issues from his past as he pursues a happier ending for himself.

Director Abel Ferrara first gained some notoriety via 1979’s cult flick Driller Killer, though he wouldn’t achieve mainstream prominence until about a decade later. With movies like 1990’s King of New York and 1992’s Bad Lieutenant, Ferrara achieved more of an “arthouse” following.

I admit I didn’t enjoy the prior Ferrara films I saw, a small roster that also included 1993’s dull Body Snatchers, a flick that seemed like Ferrara’s best shot at a hit. I didn’t hold my prior experiences with Ferrara against Siberia, though, because I didn’t realize he made the film until I watched it.

What I will hold against Siberia is its basic awfulness. Pretentious and absurd, the movie goes nowhere.

Basically, Siberia seems overwritten and underdeveloped. People speak in ridiculous soliloquies and lead us down a long, slow road to nowhere.

Siberia gives us painful dialogue like this:

“But dad, don’t you remember what the doctor said?”

“What did he say?”

“He said you’re dead.”

Alrighty then.

Siberia burdens us with endless nonsense like that. The film clearly views itself as deep and insightful, but instead, it just seems silly and rambling.

Basically half Malick, half Lynch, Siberia ends up all bad. Even at a mere 91 minutes, the movie turns into a long, dull trek. .

Siberia appears in an aspect ratio of approximately 2.39:1 on this Blu-ray Disc. For the most part, the movie looked fine.

Overall sharpness appeared positive. Some interiors felt a little soft, but these remained modest at worst.

Jagged edges and moiré effects never appeared, and I saw no edge haloes. Print flaws also failed to distract.

For much of the film, it opted for a teal orientation that leaned green. Matters changed as the story progressed, though, and warmer ambers became significant. The Blu-ray replicated the colors accurately.

Blacks seemed dark and deep, while shadows generally worked fine. Some nighttime shots seemed too dense, but the rest of the flick showed appealing low-light material. Ultimately, the image satisfied.

As for the film’s DTS-HD MA 5.1 soundtrack, it came with a soundscape that lacked ambition on a consistent basis. It went for a fairly atmospheric air, as the mix gave us logical accompaniment for the moody visuals.

This meant music popped up around the room and became somewhat dominant while effects remained mostly in the environmental realm. A few more dynamic sequences emerged, but most of the flick stayed subdued.

Audio quality was good. Dialogue appeared natural and concise, while music showed nice range and impact.

Effects boasted positive punch and dimensionality, with deep low-end when necessary. Though not a killer mix, the audio fit the story.

The disc includes the movie’s trailer but it lacks any other extras.

More of a parody of an art house film than a compelling tale in its own right, Siberia never gets into a groove. Instead, it bores the viewer with inane stabs at pretentious philosophy. The Blu-ray boasts solid visuals as well as acceptable audio, but it comes with virtually no bonus materials. Avoid this unwatchable movie.