For today’s “Adventures in Chick Flicks”, we head to 2011’s Something Borrowed. Rachel (Ginnifer Goodwin) turns 30 and encounters a bit of a crisis, as she feels like an old maid whose life is rushing past her.

Her lifelong best friend Darcy (Kate Hudson) throws her a surprise birthday party – and gets so blitzed her fiancé Dex (Colin Egglesfield) needs to take her home early. Darcy loses her handbag at the bash, though, so Dex heads back to the club to find it.

There he bumps into Rachel and they share a post-party drink. One thing leads to another, and they end up in the sack together. This freaks out the pair, though we see more to their shared history via flashbacks. Those show us that Dex and Rachel nearly dated in law school, but her wimpiness opened the door for Darcy, who swooped in and snagged hunky Dex.

Clearly old feelings die hard, though. It seems obvious that Dex and Rachel maintain a connection, and they’re forced to confront those ties in the weeks leading up to Dex’s wedding to Darcy.

Leading up to my viewing of Borrowed, I thought back to a few reviews I read about it. I got the impression those critics believed the movie’s greatest flaw stemmed from the Darcy character. Utterly narcissistic and self-absorbed, she appeared to present a wholly unlikable personality whose cruel egotism harpooned the flick.

Those critics got the character right, as she really does seem to be wholly unsympathetic; she’ll stab those she claims to love in the back without hesitation. However, Darcy isn’t the movie’s biggest problem.

No, to make that claim would be to give Darcy too much power over the movie’s progression. Would this have been a better flick with a less unpleasant Darcy? Nope - Borrowed still would’ve been a disaster no matter how that role worked.

That’s because Borrowed comes with few – if any – strengths. It lives in some neverland in which apparently no one ever works. Instead, they drink, they party, and they yell “woo!” a lot.

And they’re boring – really, really boring. Why the filmmakers decided to stretch this nonsense to nearly two hours remains a mystery to me, as there’s not more than 80 minutes of story here – and that’s not even a good 80 minutes. It’s about 80 minutes of tedious hand-wringing and moaning. It doesn’t matter whether one thinks Rachel will win Dex or he’ll end up with Darcy – we just don’t care. We develop so little investment in the whiny, dopey characters that their fates matter not one whit to us.

It’s also perplexing to see the very attractive Goodwin constantly mope about how unattractive she is. Of course, Borrowed lives in that Hollywood alternate universe where only skinny blondes – ie, Hudson – are deemed to be beautiful. If you don’t fit that extremely specific mold, we’re supposed to think you’re – gasp! - plain.

Sorry, but it’s absurd. Preferences come down to personal taste, of course, but I think Goodwin’s much more attractive than Hudson – and it’s not even close. Nonetheless, the movie wants us to believe that Goodwin’s an ordinary girl and Hudson’s a super-babe because we have to think Egglesfield is out of her league.

Not that any of this really matters. Something Borrowed has so little going for it that I feel like I’m just picking critical nits at this point. Suffice it to say that the film is slow, dull and utterly contrived. That’s what we critics call a Trifecta of Crap.

Something Borrowed appears in an aspect ratio of approximately 1.85:1 on this Blu-Ray Disc. This was a good but not great image.

Sharpness was usually positive, though not in a sparkling way. The movie managed to display pretty solid definition; it just seemed a bit loose at times, especially in interiors, and it failed to display the clarity expected of the better Blu-rays. No issues with jagged edges or moiré effects occurred, and edge enhancement was absent. I also failed to detect any source flaws.

In terms of colors, the movie featured a natural palette that favored a slight golden tone. Across the board, the hues looked positive. They showed nice clarity and breadth and came out well. Blacks were dark and deep, while shadows appeared clear and smooth. The mild softness made this a “B”.

I thought that the DTS-HD MA 5.1 soundtrack of Borrowed seemed fine but it didn’t excel because of a lack of ambition. Like most comedies, the movie featured a limited soundfield that favored the forward channels. It showed nice stereo spread to the music as well as some general ambience from the sides.

Panning was decent, and the surrounds usually kicked in basic reinforcement. A few scenes opened up better, though, like at clubs or on the beach; that sequence boasted lively music. However, most of the movie stayed with the limited imaging expected from a romantic comedy.

Audio quality appeared good. Speech was natural and distinct, with no issues related to edginess or intelligibility. Effects sounded clean and accurate, with good fidelity and no signs of distortion. Music was perfectly fine, as the score and songs showed positive dimensionality. This track was good enough for a “B“ but didn’t particularly impress.

A smattering of extras fill out the set. Something… Old? goes for three minutes, 50 seconds and includes comments from producers Molly Mickler Smith. Andrew Kosove, Btoderick Johnson, Aaron Lubin and Hilary Swank, author Emily Giffin, director Luke Greenfield, and actors Ginnifer Goodwin, John Krasinski, Kate Hudson, Colin Egglesfield, Steve Howey, and Ashley Williams. All involved reflect on the effects of turning 30. It’s fluffy and without much substance.

Four more featurettes follow. On Location Tours with Emily Giffin lasts four minutes, 51 seconds and follows the author as she takes her fans on a bus tour of spots featured in the film. Or that’s the theory, at least. Instead, “Tours” becomes just acts as a love letter between Giffin and her fans. It’s a total waste of time.

Marcus’ Guide to the Ladies runs six minutes, 41 seconds and features actor Steve Howey in character. He gives us advice on how to bag the babes. It’s vaguely amusing.

Next comes the one-minute, 46-second What Is Something Borrowed? featurette. It gives us remarks from Hudson, Egglesfield, Krasinski, Goodwin, and Swank. The piece gives us a quick recap of the story and characters. Yawn.

Finally, Inside Something Borrowed fills two minutes, 31 seconds with notes from Goodwin, Hudson, Egglesfield, Johnson, Krasinski, Smith, Kosove, Howey and Greenfield. Like “What Is”, this one’s essentially another advertisement – skip it.

After this we get a Gag Reel. In this five-minute, 34-second segment, we mostly get the standard goofs and giggles. We do hear a few alternate lines, though, which makes it a smidgen more interesting.

Under Left off the Guest List, we locate four deleted scenes that go a total of seven minutes, 38 seconds. These include “When Were You Going to Tell Me?” (1:03), “I’m Sorry We Haven’t Had Time to Talk” (3:56), “This Is Already the Best Weekend I’ve Ever Had” (1:11) and “Rachel and Ethan in London” (1:28). The first two provide some minor attempts at comedy, while the last two throw in a dumped subplot that gives us extra info about the Darcy/Rachel/Ethan dynamic. Those are mildly interesting but not really necessary to convey character info.

A few ads open the disc. We get clips for Crazy Stupid Love and Dolphin Tale. No trailer for Borrowed appears.

A second platter provides both a digital copy of Borrowed for use on computers or digital portable gadgets as well as a DVD copy of the film. This delivers a barebones package, so don’t expect any extras.

Does the fact I’m a 44-year-old male make me the wrong person to review a dyed-in-the-wool chick flick like Something Borrowed? Maybe, but I don’t think so. Good movies are good movies regardless of genre/target audience – and bad is bad, which Borrowed proves. Meandering and generally pointless, the film lacks direction, wit, cleverness or anything resembling compelling characters or narrative. The Blu-ray provides reasonably good picture and audio along with some minor supplements. Unless you’re related to someone involved in the film’s creation and feel you owe it to them to watch it, skip this awful excuse for a romantic comedy.