Reviewed by Colin Jacobson (February 9, 2023)
With a title like Spoiler Alert, one might expect this 2022 film to offer something wink-wink and eccentric like the similarly self-consciously titled 2012 film John Dies at the End. Nope – instead, the movie brings a melodrama occasionally leavened by light comedy.
In 2001, TV Guide writer Michael Ausiello (Jim Parsons) meets photographer Kit Cowan (Ben Aldridge) at a Manhattan nightclub. The pair instantly connect and begin to date.
This leads to a serious relationship, one with a mix of complications. Matters take a dark turn in 2014 when Kit gets diagnosed with an advanced form of cancer.
When one looks at the filmography of director Michael Showalter, one finds an unusual mix. This list includes broad comedies like Wet Hot American Summer and They Came Together, weepy dramas like The Big Sick and the Oscar-bait biopic The Eyes of Tammy Faye.
All of these share one factor: they disappoint to varying degrees. Although none of them outright stinks, each one fails to live up to its potential.
With Alert, Big Sick acts as the obvious connection in Showalter’s catalog. Both explore long-term romantic relationships impacted by the serious illness of one member.
Like Sick, Alert comes based off real-life events. In this case, the movie adapts the actual Auselio’s 2017 book Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies.
While the movie’s title lacks the spoiler of the memoir’s, it nonetheless ensures that it lives up to its billing. Indeed, the film’s start shows Cowan close to his end – albeit not actually deceased yet.
This means Alert echoes the granddaddy of all “doomed romance” films: 1970’s Love Story. Both that film and Alert open with foreshadowing that lets us know one of the protagonists won’t survive to see the end credits.
Though a massive hit, Love Story offered a pretty terrible movie. As such, the way Alert reminds me of it gives me trepidation.
On the positive side, I like Alert more than I enjoyed Love Story. On the negative side, that becomes a low bar given how much I hated Love Story.
A couple months before Alert hit screens, Bros arrived in multiplexes with a loud ad campaign to trumpet its alleged spot as the first mainstream gay rom-com. I still don’t know if that’s accurate, but I do know the filmmakers acted more like they needed to educate the world about the gay community than they wanted to make a good movie.
While Alert never shies away from its “gay content”, it doesn’t treat Michael and Kit as different from heterosexual couples. At no point does it neuter them, as it paints an active same-sex pair – it just views this as largely unremarkable.
Which seems like a more progressive choice than the “in your face” elements of Bros. If nothing else, this makes Alert more watchable.
Unfortunately, it never becomes especially interesting, mainly because it fails to develop our leads in a meaningful manner. They get a few general characteristics but don’t feel like compelling people in their own right.
Maybe the filmmakers wanted so badly to treat Michael and Kit as “just another couple” that they forgot to make them come across with actual personalities. Even when their relationship hits snarls, the movie seems so kind ‘n’ gentle that it creates no sparks.
Alert also rambles down unnecessary story tangents too often. It gets into Kit’s illness less than halfway into the narrative, which seems too soon, and it also just meanders when it needs to focus on the leads.
We find a well-meaning movie, and I respect that. Unfortunately, the end result lacks real drama or emotional impact.
Footnote: some footage of the actual Kit Cowan appears during the end credits.
