Vampires Suck appears in an aspect ratio of approximately 1.85:1 on this Blu-Ray Disc. The movie came with a rather lackluster transfer.
And one with some rough edges – literally. I saw a surprising amount of shimmering and some blockiness, qualities that I don’t expect from Blu-ray. Overall definition was decent but not great. Much of the movie demonstrated adequate delineation, though softness tended to intrude on wider shots.
No issues with edge haloes appeared, but grain was rather heavy for a new movie. This did seem to be an artifact of the original photography, but it still created distractions, as it gave the film a messy appearance not typical of a 2010 studio release. At least it came from from source flaws, as no specks, marks or other concerns occurred.
In terms of colors, Suck went with the standard Twilight Chilly Blue Tone. Brighter tones did emerged at times, but most of the hues were restrained. The colors appeared acceptable within the stylistic constraints. Blacks were mediocre, as they tended to be a little mushy, and shadows tended to seem somewhat thick. None of these issues were major, but they added up to a decidedly mediocre presentation.
Though not exceptional, the DTS-HD MA 5.1 audio of Suck worked better. Much of the track went with music and general ambience, but the vampire magic and slapstick added a bit of pizzazz. This meant a few elements that managed to flit from one channel to another, and the surrounds contributed decent activity as well. I couldn’t claim that anything exceptional occurred, but at least the spectrum opened in a fair manner.
Audio quality always satisfied. Music was bright and peppy, as the score and songs demonstrated nice breadth and richness. Effects were accurate and full, while speech showed nice clarity and natural tones. All of this was good enough for a “B”.
Don’t expect many extras here. The disc does provide both the theatrical and unrated extended cuts of the movie. The former runs 82:07, while the latter goes for 83:54. What do you find in the extra 107 seconds? I don’t know – I only watched the extended cut, so I can’t detail the changes. I suspect that the changes involved a bit more explicit sexual talk, but there’s nothing obvious like the full-frontal nudity in Epic Movie. Anyway, I wanted to mention that both cuts appear here.
Nine Deleted Scenes fill a total of 12 minutes, 20 seconds. We get “Becca’s Teen Angst Mix Extended” (1:12), “…Crappy Old Truck Parking Only” (0:36), “Active in Bed” (2:43), “Love Letter from John” (0:36), “Mexican Vampires” (1:02), “Anything to See Edward” (0:56), “Proactive Prom Queen” (1:17), “Daro and Edward: The Vermont Months” (3:29), and “Unexpected Reunion” (0:29). Most of these simply make short unfunny scenes into long unfunny scenes; to my shock, they seem even more tedious in their extended versions.
A few elements give us more of minor characters, with two additions to the movie’s pointless Dear John reference. We do see a long rant from Ken Jeong; he’s the only part of the movie that borders on funny, so these moments have more merit than the others.
Note that “Mexican Vampires” shows a more charged version of a scene in the final movie. I guess the filmmakers were afraid to describe Mexicans as lazy, etc., as they changed it to “Canadians” in the final cut. The deleted scene shows the original use of Mexicans and also lasts longer. While not PC, the “Mexicans” edition makes more sense in the joke’s context.
Next comes a Gag Reel. Across its three minutes, 51 seconds, we see the standard array of goofs and giggles. If that works for you, have a blast!
A few ads open the disc. We get clips for Machete, The A-Team, and Wild Target. We also find the trailer for Suck as well as a Sneak Peeks for Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps and Cyrus.
A second disc provides a Digital Copy of Suck. It allows you transfer the movie to a computer or iWhatever. Laugh it up, fuzzball!
To date, Aaron Selzer and Jason Friedberg have directed five movies. To date, Aaron Selzer and Jason Friedberg have created five perfectly awful films. Vampires Suck seems less horrifying than its four predecessors, but it remains consistently, thoroughly terrible. The Blu-ray comes with mediocre visuals, good audio and a minor set of supplements. Unless you’re as big a masochist as I, stay far away from this feeble attempt at comedy.