DVD Movie Guide @ dvdmg.com
Review Archive:  # | A-C | D-F | G-I | J-L | M-O | P-R | S-U | V-Z | Viewer Ratings | Main


Val Guest
Victoria Vetri, Robin Hawdon, Patrick Allen
Writing Credits:
Val Guest

Set in the ancient past when humans and dinosaurs lived together, a small tribe struggles to survive by giving a sacrifice of a blond woman to their god.

Rated NR

Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1
English DTS-HD MA Monaural
Supplements Subtitles:

Runtime: 100 min.
Price: $21.99
Release Date: 2/28/2017

• Trailer


Panasonic TC-P60VT60 60-Inch 1080p 600Hz 3D Smart Plasma HDTV; Sony STR-DG1200 7.1 Channel Receiver; Panasonic DMP-BD60K Blu-Ray Player using HDMI outputs; Michael Green Revolution Cinema 6i Speakers (all five); Kenwood 1050SW 150-watt Subwoofer.


When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth [Blu-Ray] (1970)

Reviewed by Colin Jacobson (March 14, 2017)

In 1966, One Million Years BC became a big hit, mainly because a certain segment of the viewing audience loved the sight of Raquel Welch as a scantily-clad cavewoman. This leads us to 1970’s When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth, a spiritual sequel in the “sexy prehistoric era” genre.

To satisfy their Sun God, primitive people attempt to sacrifice three blonde women. However, one of them escapes.

Free from her impending doom, Sanna (Victoria Vetri) meets Tara (Robin Hawdon), a member of a rival tribe. Those two explore a relationship while they attempt to survive a mix of threats, both human and dinosaur.

Question: back in the Sixties, did people really think humans and dinosaurs coexisted? From films like this as well as The Flintstones, one gets that impression, but I don’t know if this belief was pervasive.

Whatever the case, the juxtaposition of mankind and dinosaurs means one can’t expect much historical accuracy from Ruled. Just as I love The Flintstones, this lack of realism shouldn’t doom the movie to failure, as it could still entertain without much truth.

Unfortunately, Ruled almost completely flops as a film. It has one thing going for it: lots of hot cavebabes, all of whom frolic in skimpy outfits.

And sometimes less! Though edited for US consumption, the original film came with some nudity, and this cut restores those elements. Though saddled with a terrible blonde wig, Vetri boasted ample physical charms, and we get a reasonably good look at her.

Other than attractive females, however, I can find nothing to like about the meandering, boring Ruled. My synopsis makes it sound as though the film tells an actual narrative, but in truth, it doesn’t.

Instead, we find ourselves stuck with a sluggish, meandering tale that goes nowhere in particular. Like One Million Years BC, Ruled comes with no English dialogue, as it substitutes its own invented “caveman language”. I guess that’s a nod toward “realism”, though it seems pointless given how many other anachronisms exist in the film.

It’s also a distraction, as it prevents meaningful dialogue. Granted, I’m not sure a movie about cavepeople should include “meaningful dialogue”, but I’d still prefer lines of actual English instead of the gibberish spouted here, as that would at least allow for some passable story-telling.

Instead, we find a lot of random nonsense, as the characters go from one boring event to another. This culminates in a natural disaster that involves the slowest-moving tidal wave in the history of cinema.

Oh, boy – that oceanic calamity causes hoots of laughter! The wave builds up steam… and then builds some more… and just keeps building, all while the characters have time to build rafts!

It’s ridiculous, but so is the rest of the film. The characters never become interesting, and the action scenes seem dull and flat.

I do like the stop-motion animation of Ruled, as those elements add charm. I realize audiences won’t accept that form of effects in live-action anymore, but I still appreciate and enjoy the times these creatures appear. They bring warmth and fun to the proceedings.

Too bad nothing else about the movie succeeds. Ruled comes with enjoyable dinosaur animation and some sexy babes – that’s all the potential pleasure you’ll take from this stinker.

We all have movies we thought were amazing when we were 10 but we later realized were borderline unwatchable. For people born in the early 1960s, Ruled is probably that film. It’s a really terrible piece of work that may elicit nostalgic whimsy but that’s about it.

The Blu-ray Grades: Picture B/ Audio C/ Bonus D-

When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth appears in an aspect ratio of approximately 1.85:1 on this Blu-ray Disc. Despite some iffy moments, the image usually worked pretty well.

Sharpness usually seemed positive. A little softness occasionally crept into wide shots, but the majority of the film showed nice clarity and accuracy. The juxtaposition of live-action and stop-motion elements caused inevitable discrepancies.

I saw no jagged edges or moiré effects, and edge haloes remained absent. Print flaws also created no concerns.

With its prehistoric setting, Ruled opted for a fairly sandy/brown palette. The transfer replicated these hues in an appropriate manner.

Blacks were pretty dark and deep, while shadows seemed acceptable. A few “day for night” shots demonstrated slight heaviness, but most of the flick gave us clear low-light shots. All in all, the image held up nicely over the last 47 years.

Ruled came with a wholly mediocre DTS-HD MA monaural soundtrack. Speech tended to seem somewhat distant and bland, without great naturalism.

Music showed a little more oomph, but not much, so the score remained fairly flat and without great range. Effects followed suit, as they tended to be lackluster and occasionally a little distorted. For its age, the track was acceptable but it never became better than meh.

The Blu-ray includes the movie’s trailer but lacks other extras.

If you like the sight of hot babes in skimpy cavegirl outfits, When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth musters some titillation. If you want an exciting action tale along with all that skin, you’re out of luck. The Blu-ray offers mostly good picture along with mediocre audio and almost no supplements. Goofy and inane, Ruled bores.

Viewer Film Ratings: 2 Stars Number of Votes: 2
1 3:
View Averages for all rated titles.

Review Archive:  # | A-C | D-F | G-I | J-L | M-O | P-R | S-U | V-Z | Viewer Ratings | Main